Demise jokes
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
How do stars die?
Normally, an overdose.
He is dead.
How did Mace Windu die?
He fell out the windoo.
My aunt’s star sign is Cancer, so it’s pretty ironic how she died. She was eaten alive by a giant freaking crab!
One time, Little Johnny heard his parents "wrestling" in their bed. So the next morning, he went to rape all the little girls in school. This then led to his demise.
No girls told on him, but when he grew up, he was a raper. He never stopped. In total, "little" Johnny had over 31 sons that he didn't know about. When he was sentenced to jail, he raped all the inmates despite his small figure. He was then sent to the death sentence, "eagle wing" torture style.
His parents were happy he died, and the morbid rapist was put down, never to return again. However, all the sons had his genes, including his MINDSET. They then became a cult and shot down 2014 cops, 471 military members and 72951 males and females. The kids, you ask? Only the males were spared, and taught how to operate the guns. All but 419 females were killed. They soon became the world's strongest empire. No one could stop Little Johnny's sons. NO ONE.
Having survived a severe injury in my past, I'm kind of glad paramedics didn't succeed in bringing the United Healthcare CEO back.
I was suffering so bad I got delirious and thought that the nurses were putting poison in my water cup.
That CEO was so hated that one of the nurses probably WOULD have slipped him something!
Bambi was calmly eating grass. All of a sudden, a red dot pointed near his heart caught his attention. He looked around anxiously, and he saw a man in camouflage. He whispered, "Time to join mother, Bambi!" Bambi knew what this meant. He ran. He heard a gunshot, followed by a wave of extreme pain. Bambi fell to the ground. He glanced at his leg, which was no longer attached to his body. The man in camouflage came up to him and stabbed him in the heart. Everything went black...
Why is Sally dead? Cause she has no arms.
Q: Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
A: She got hit by a bus.
Did you hear the news? Michael Jackson died because he choked on 7-year-old nuts and balls.
Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream?
Because he was dead.
Why did Mr. Peanut die?
His cane snapped!
The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.
Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
Lil’ Johnny be dead, you fools!
Where did Alice go during the explosion?
Everywhere.
Titanic didn't sink by an iceberg.
Titanic sank by 100000000000000000000000 Titanics.
You know Sally? She's dead now.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Of a bad internet connection.