Definition jokes
I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"
She replied, "Two or three."
Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.
What do you call a fat, ugly, and hairy woman with a rape whistle? A feminist.
The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.
Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."
What is the definition of Endless Love?
Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing tennis!
I asked my orphan friend to come to my house. He said he was confused because he didn't know what that is.
What is an Italian massage?
An Italian Catholic priest giving a blowjob inside the confessional booth during Lent.
If you're a simp, just remember, it means "Suckers Idolizing Mediocre Pussy."
A blond-haired girl, a brown-haired girl, and a ginger-haired girl were out walking when they came across some tracks.
The brown-haired girl looked at them and said, "I think they are elephant tracks."
Then the ginger-haired girl looked at the tracks and said, "No way, they are definitely duck tracks."
Finally, the blond-haired girl bent down to examine the tracks when she got hit by the train.
If you're going to be a smart ass, you have to be smart, or you're just an ass.
"Popcorn" means "Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany."
"HO" means a woman, in particular one who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based sex encountered a lot in a nazi camp.
What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
High definition or addictionary.
What is the definition of auto masturbation?
Fellatio.
Me: What’s the definition of “ignorance”?
Friend: Don’t know?
Me: U STUPID!
What is the difference between a gay male who is not physically challenged giving a blowjob to a gay male that is not physically challenged, and a gay male who is physically challenged giving a blowjob to a gay male who is not physically challenged?
A gay male who is not physically challenged who receives a blowjob from a gay male who is physically challenged would still not believe that the physically challenged male is gay because the gay male who is not physically challenged is the definition of an asshole.
A homey thing is a house, and a sticky thing is a stick.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
What's the definition of rude?
Sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife.
Did you know that the letter "f" in "orphan" stands for family?
What makes a joke a dad joke? When it leaves and doesn't come back.
Orphans
The “F” in orphan stands for family.