How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣
Roses are dead. violets are dying. Outside I'm smiling. Inside I'm crying.
How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man into giving him a blowjob?
The gay man asks the heterosexual man if he wants to give him a "brojob."
God, I love telling children their parents love them, but only on April Fools'. They're orphans, after all.
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"
The Doctor replies, "I know, I amputated your arms."
"Poor old fool," thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink.
The gentleman asked, "So how many have you caught today?"
The old man replied, "You're the eighth."
What is the worst animal to play cards with? A cheater.
I broke up with my RBLX gf, and I heard my uncle crying in the other room.
Went to see a psychic the other day.
I knocked on the door, and she said, "Who is it?"
So I turned around and left.
Qwen is a liar (sent with a dance).
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.
And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"
Today I gave a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!
Man: Hey kids, who wants milk?
Kids: Me!
Man: *unzips fly*
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "every time someone lies, it ticks once. Mother Teresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, "Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
What does Jesus have in common with Pinocchio?
They believe their own lies.
One time I was watching TV.
Mom: Omg, your dad is coming!
Me: Omg, really?
Mom: Sike, I lied.
Why can't you fool an aborted baby? Because it was not born yesterday.
What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you?
Your virginity.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
You dress her up as an altar boy.
