A woman can fake an orgasm for the sake of a relationship.
A man can fake a relationship for the sake of an orgasm.
I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.
My uncle is a horrible ventriloquist. He put his hand up my butt, but he told me NOT to say anything.
A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.
And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"
Roses are dead. violets are dying. Outside I'm smiling. Inside I'm crying.
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jack could eat her candy. But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jill’s real name is Randy.
Shit! My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs! I've been his customer for 4 years, but I had no idea he was a barber.
Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"
What’s the best part about sex with twenty eight year olds?
There are twenty of them.
I told my new girlfriend that my mother is deaf.
So she would have to speak loudly and slowly.
I told my mother that my new girlfriend is disabled. Now we wait.
I asked the homeless woman if I could take her home. She said yes, so I took it.
When I was recently standing in front of a huge puddle with my buddy, I remembered how he tricked me a week ago. So I tricked him...
I thought I saw a cool sticker on my office window, then I realized it was getting bigger and bigger.
What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you?
Your virginity.
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
I told a kid his dad is a magician because he disappeared and never came back home.
How to kill a blind person.
Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
