Deception jokes

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

What has fingernails and legs made of grass? You, I lied about the grass.

A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy. "What's going on here!?" he exclaims.

The wife replies, "See, I told you he was stupid."

What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?

"Quack, quack."

I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.

Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.

I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.

Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection.

A fake name and a fake phone number.