Death jokes
When you look exactly like your dead cousin and everybody thinks she faked her death.
FUCKING MENT
A) Why don't orphans play Minecraft Online?
Q) Because Technoblade will get their I.P. address and cum to their houses!
When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.
My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?
Why is death taken so lightly?
Because you can take it so quickly.
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
One's alive at the bottom.
What's even worse than THAT?
It eats it's way out.
Wait it gets worse...
It goes back for seconds.
Just one more I swear...
It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.
Imagine. Kobe could not.
Preventing suicide is best done by committing it.
If an orphan has a nightmare, they should run to their parents. Oh wait!
My Grandmother died last month. The thing that bugs me to this day, I couldn't understand her last words... through the pillow.
A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.
The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.
The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”
So, I was at a funeral the other day, and it was a school shooting mass funeral. The lady beside me asked me, “What do you think was going through their heads?” And I replied, “Probably a bullet.” She was furious and said, “How dare you! You have no idea what those kids were probably going through!” And I replied, “Well, they were going through anything the bullet was going through them.”
I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.
Why can’t Helen Keller drive?
It’s because she’s dead.
I asked, "Mom, what's that in the sky?"
Mom replied with, "That's your father."
End everything and your life, Steven Roca!
I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.
There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.
One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.
I told a diabetic girl to have sweet dreams...
she died the next morning.
Where do feminists go when they die? "Hell's Kitchen."