Death

Death jokes

If an orphan has a nightmare, they should run to their parents. Oh wait!

My Grandmother died last month. The thing that bugs me to this day, I couldn't understand her last words... through the pillow.

  • 7

    • A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.

    The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.

    The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”

    So, I was at a funeral the other day, and it was a school shooting mass funeral. The lady beside me asked me, “What do you think was going through their heads?” And I replied, “Probably a bullet.” She was furious and said, “How dare you! You have no idea what those kids were probably going through!” And I replied, “Well, they were going through anything the bullet was going through them.”

  • 1

    • I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.

  • 1

    • I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.

  • 1

    • There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.

    One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.