Death jokes
How do you know an orphan is lying? When they swear on their mother's life.
What do a relationship and suicidal thought have in common? They’ll both end soon.
I saw a helicopter on January 26, 2020. Then Kobe was on the news.
Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.
That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.
The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.
Kobe was a bloody legend. Now he's just bloody.
An apple and an emo are at the top of a tree, they both fall at the same time.
Who hit the ground first?
The apple won because the emo had forgotten to connect the internet.
My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."
I caught the flowers at a wedding--now married to a hot guy. But then I caught an STD at a funeral, I kinda nervo.........
So an emo shot themselves, and so the detective decides to ask why, but it just goes in one ear and out the other.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To cut through traffic.
What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?
An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.
What’s the best cure for not wanting to go to work?
Suicide.
Why did the child die? To see God, our father.
Why do orphans never wake up in the morning? Their dad can’t wake them up.
A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.
The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.
The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."
All my friends live in a forest. It's called Aokigahara.