What's a suicidal person's favorite drink?
The depressay expressay.
Just kidding, bleach!
What's a suicidal person's favorite drink?
The depressay expressay.
Just kidding, bleach!
What was the last hat Princess Diana wore?
A bonnet.
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.
My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.
You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????
The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid. While the shooter tries to shoot him, the emo kid dodges the bullets like in the Matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots himself.
At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.
One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.
What did the pirate say when he saw a ghost? He said, "Oh my God, it's me dead parrot!"
What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?
His life insurance...