Your mom! Oh wait, you don't have one.
I stood on the edge of a building and someone yelled, "Do a flip!"..... and I did.
"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"
"He died."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."
(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"
What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.
I asked the emo kid how it was hanging. He didn't reply because the rope was too tight.
I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.
I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
Why can't Kobe go shopping?
He's dead.
Why do people misplace 9/11 with emo kids? They both have a high death count.
What do you call a depressed person holding a knife?
Freedom yay! (so funny ikr)
If a person kills their counselor, does that mean that they don't need therapy anymore?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Di.
Di who?
See, easily forgotten.
Why can't my grandma talk?
Because she's dead.
Me: Knock knock.
My Grandma: Who’s there?
Me: Interrupting cow.
My Grandma: Interrupting c-
[Dies from heart attack]
That's why your grandma 6 ft deep, feet!
What do you call a car on the side of the road, lit up and ablaze?
Paul Walker's death.
I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.
Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.
