Dead jokes

What does "off-limits" have in common with dead people? They can’t see their family.

What do dead people and orphans have in common? They can't see their family.

What did the dinosaur say to the man?

It didn’t, they're dead.

What did Superman say to Batman?

Nothing, Bruce is dead.

My sister: See you at home in about an hour.

Me: Okay.

My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*

Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?

Sister: OMG, she's dead!

Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?

Why didn't the chicken cross the road?

'Cause it got knocked down on its way.

What do you call a dev that is dead?

A deadveloper.

He is dead.

Y'all is ugly!

“Wills”

Are they a dead giveaway!

USS Liberty. Never forget.

It was bombed and destroyed by the Israeli airforce. Thirty-four dead, 171 wounded. The official story says “accident,” yet an American flag was clearly visible on the ship.

Motive: An attempt to cut off our foreign intelligence on Israel? Blame the bombing on an Arab country?

Just imagine if any other nation bombed an American ship...

What's the difference between a club and a bar?

I can only get dead hookers from the club alleyways.

I was reading a book one day when I suddenly heard a sound. It was the Grim Reaper. I ignored it and continued reading my book. Suddenly, I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies.

I used to like fireworks, but I'm dead now. Fireworks look like a charm if you don't mind something a little ghostly.

What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick up a dead baby's ass.

What is round and squishy? A dead baby's head.

What do you tell a dead metal fan?

Rust in peace.

How do you make a dead baby float?

1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.

I can't sleep, that's because you're dead.

What's the grossest thing ever?

A bag of dead babies.

What's even more gross?

The bottom one is still wriggling!

I fucked a Pokemon the other day. It is dead now.