Dead jokes
I hit my friend.
He's dead now.
One time there was a squirrel who died.
It was funny because the squirrel got dead.
Remember the big forehead kid who said, "Give me a knife, I'm going to kill myself" because of being bullied?
His head was too big to even exist, and that's why he's dead.
1) Did you hear the one about the school shooting? Actually, I better not... You wouldn't understand, it's aimed more towards a younger audience.
2) 6 was scared cuz 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9/11.
3) 10 dead babies.
Q: What do you call a cat living with a vet? A: A dead, shrivelled up cat on her death bed that is attached to their owner.
Isn't It Purrfect!
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What's the difference between 13 dead babies and a skeleton?
There aren't any, there's 13 skeletons in my closet.
You're dumb, but that's not what she said.
Dean's sex life.
What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large!
My gardener found a dead body. Of the old gardener!
What’s a green cucumber?
A carrot.
My sister: See you at home in about an hour.
Me: Okay.
My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*
Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?
Sister: OMG, she's dead!
Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?
Why can't my grandma talk?
Because she's dead.
What does "off-limits" have in common with dead people? They can’t see their family.
What do dead people and orphans have in common? They can't see their family.
What did the dinosaur say to the man?
It didn’t, they're dead.
Why can’t Helen Keller drive? She’s dead.
With what do you stuff a dead parrot? His.
Gwen, are you dead????? If not, I am Alya. Thanks for always standing up for me!!!!!!!!!!!
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
'Cause it got knocked down on its way.