Dead jokes
What makes you guys high?
I get high when I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.
Q: What did one snake say to the other?
A: Nothing because they are both dead.
What type of apple grows on a tree?
All of them.
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
Why are the same Sally jokes told over and over again?
Because how can you tell jokes about someone who's dead?
you
If Red gets voted out, what happened?
Red is not voted out, Red is a hacker, so he kills Blue. OK, so someone found Blue's body. Red said, "Where?"
Lime, Green, and Purple said, "How is Red not dead?"
Red: "I am a hacker, you noobs!"
Lime, Green, and Purple run.
Red killed them all. Red is the win, but he is not the win.
Black killed Red. Black is the win.
LOL
What do you call an ear that's dead? Deaf. Hahaha! Oh wait...
What's the difference between a spare tire and dead hookers? I don't have 8 spare tires in my trunk.
What's the difference between a yandere and a gun?
Nothing.
Flip them off the wrong way and you're dead.
I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!
What do my baby and dinosaurs have in common? They are both dead.
Dark Jokes R Like Puppies:
Once they come out they are trash, but once it starts to get older, that’s when it’s noticed, but when it gets too old, you either proclaim it dead or never talk about it.
(I would never do that though I love puppies)
How many people do you think are in a graveyard? Hopefully none.
Conservatives when they hear about “liberal arts:” 👊😡
Liberals when they find out about forest conservation: 😩👐
Progressives when they see a reaction video: 🤬
Reactionaries when a Progressive ad comes on (Flo is annoying): 😱
Anticoms realizing they are a part of a “community:” *seizure*
Anticaps when they have to Capitalize Their Words: 😤
Anti-monarchists when they pass a Burger King: 🫨
Antisocs when they are told to “socialize:” 🫠
Corporatists when they see a corpse: 🤤
Antifash when they spot a fashion show: 🤮
Classical liberals when the TV shows Family Feud: 😑🔫
Extremists when they are told to shoot “dead center” (they have bad aim): 😠🖕
What happened when Obama ran for president?
The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.
Dogs say woof.
Cows say moo.
Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"
Why did Technoblade die?
Because God wished him dead for all the orphans he made fun of.
My mom said the only way to cure depression is to do what she does. She's dead.
What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.
To those who are dead now, was it fun?
Roses are red, My friend is choking. That stupid bitch shouldn't have eaten my muffin.