Dead jokes

Dark Jokes R Like Puppies:

Once they come out they are trash, but once it starts to get older, that’s when it’s noticed, but when it gets too old, you either proclaim it dead or never talk about it.

(I would never do that though I love puppies)

What do my baby and dinosaurs have in common? They are both dead.

How many people do you think are in a graveyard? Hopefully none.

Someone telling a joke:

Boy: "My parents are dead."

Girl: "My grandad is too."

Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"

Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"

Conservatives when they hear about “liberal arts:” 👊😡

Liberals when they find out about forest conservation: 😩👐

Progressives when they see a reaction video: 🤬

Reactionaries when a Progressive ad comes on (Flo is annoying): 😱

Anticoms realizing they are a part of a “community:” *seizure*

Anticaps when they have to Capitalize Their Words: 😤

Anti-monarchists when they pass a Burger King: 🫨

Antisocs when they are told to “socialize:” 🫠

Corporatists when they see a corpse: 🤤

Antifash when they spot a fashion show: 🤮

Classical liberals when the TV shows Family Feud: 😑🔫

Extremists when they are told to shoot “dead center” (they have bad aim): 😠🖕

What happened when Obama ran for president?

The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.

Rape, 9/11, abortion, orphan, murder, dead, kill, drugs.

Am I funny now? Because this is what you brainlets find funny.

What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?

They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.

Dogs say woof.

Cows say moo.

Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"

My mom said the only way to cure depression is to do what she does. She's dead.

Why did Technoblade die?

Because God wished him dead for all the orphans he made fun of.

What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.

To those who are dead now, was it fun?

Roses are red, My friend is choking. That stupid bitch shouldn't have eaten my muffin.

What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?

Your job still sucks.

"Sing in music lesson"

"I want to die, I want to die, I want to choke myself, break my neck and die."

Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"

Funny thing is, dead women can't say no...

Why am I happy? I'm dead.

When I get home from school, I always lay on my floor crying and wishing I was dead.

Knock, knock.

Who is there?

Your Nan.

WHAT? MY NAN IS DEAD!