Day jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue, in the middle of the day, give me money, you!
The doctor gave his patient 1 day of life, so he shot him. Then the judge gave him 15 years, so there you go, problem solved.
When did Jesus die?
On Luan Day hahahahahahahahahahahahaha LOUD HOUSE wink wink.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year? Because there is no Mother's or Father's Day.
My dad went out with Nemo one day to the store. They still haven't come back.
Memes
Oh my Prince, I've loved you ever since the day we met.
When I was caught in your net of love, sweet love... It's all above...
So there was this guy who went swimming one day and got his left side bitten off by a shark.
But don't worry, he is all right now.
If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?
Worms and rotten fruit.
Kid says, “Are you a soldier?”
Soldier says, “Mhm.”
Kid says, “I wanna be a soldier someday.”
Soldier says, “Really?”
The kid says, “Yeah, but father says I don’t have the balls to be a soldier, but he’s right. I’m a FUCKING PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!!!"
Hi 👋, was the day you?
When is Father's Day?
Nine months before Mother's Day.
What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home and walk walk home to get a car? I love you, you're the night!
Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.
*The next day*
Uncle: F*CK!
A delivery service called “Ross Deliveries” was known to be the best in town. They never got anything wrong. One day, Rachelle got a delivery, but when it arrived, it was all broken! How is this possible?
I never said which delivery service she used. Lol.
One day I went skating and skated for so long that my feet were incredibly sore.
It was like my skates were moving all by themselves, but I decided to just roll with the situation.
Hi, how are you? I was busy doing something right. I just texted because me and my dad were going to.
My teacher told me to have a good day. SOOOOOOOOOO I went home :)
What is your favorite time of day?
It's a very smart day today. I'd say it has about 30-45 degrees, with humidex.
Why did the person get fired from the calendar factory?
Because they took a day off.