Day jokes
Falco: Dreaming of a day when I don’t hear people say I’m a knockoff Fox, knockoff Fox.
Fox: Dreaming of a day when you die in a fire and I get all your aerial skills.
Falco: Wat...
Why did the person get fired from the calendar factory?
Because they took a day off.
Same old boring ass day, until a person with Parkinson's fainted and got everyone's attention.
He really shook things up today.
My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
One day I went skating and skated for so long that my feet were incredibly sore.
It was like my skates were moving all by themselves, but I decided to just roll with the situation.
Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.
*The next day*
Uncle: F*CK!
I worked at a calendar factory, but I got the sack for taking a few days off!
Hi 👋, was the day you?
When is Father's Day?
Nine months before Mother's Day.
What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home and walk walk home to get a car? I love you, you're the night!
Bo: Hey kids, I am so sad that you won’t exercise and give me Bo power, so I am just going to be an orphan.
Kids changing the channel to Annie.
Annie: Tomorrow, tomorrow, only a day away.
TV changing the channel back to Bo On The Go.
Dezzy: WAAAAAAAAAA, I can’t find Bo!
So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.
I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said, "Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?"
After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.
It's a very smart day today. I'd say it has about 30-45 degrees, with humidex.
I shouted "Jenga" in class today.
We were watching clips of 9/11.
On a winter day many play.
Some with snow, and I with ice Used as a device to slice Somehow I'm colder now.
I scanned an emo girl's arm the other day. Now I own her, only 3.99 with tax. That's a steal and a half, woopeeee!
One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?
If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?
Worms and rotten fruit.
How's George Floyd doing these days? Being drug-free for a year, he must be feeling pretty swell.