Day jokes
Why am I in jail? Because I wasn't invited to the party in the orphanage 23 days ago. Stupid fucks.
I scanned an emo girl's arm the other day. Now I own her, only 3.99 with tax. That's a steal and a half, woopeeee!
On a winter day many play.
Some with snow, and I with ice Used as a device to slice Somehow I'm colder now.
What day is Labor Day?
It's the day mommies have their babies.
The doctor gave his patient 1 day of life, so he shot him. Then the judge gave him 15 years, so there you go, problem solved.
Memes
When did Jesus die?
On Luan Day hahahahahahahahahahahahaha LOUD HOUSE wink wink.
I shouted "Jenga" in class today.
We were watching clips of 9/11.
One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?
Roses are red, violets are blue, in the middle of the day, give me money, you!
How's George Floyd doing these days? Being drug-free for a year, he must be feeling pretty swell.
Hey, yesterday I played with my sister. When I woke up, she was gone.
If you have a bad day, just think there are at least 15 people who care about you.
Would you rather have a menstrual period with horrible cramps for 200 days straight (including men)?
Or eat 10 lbs of dog s**t every day for 100 days?
My dad went out with Nemo one day to the store. They still haven't come back.
Oh my Prince, I've loved you ever since the day we met.
When I was caught in your net of love, sweet love... It's all above...
Okay, okay, so one day I was on the way home, and this kid said, "Man, I could kick your butt." Five seconds later, I kicked his butt.
I found a place before called an orphanage, but when I was allowed in there were lots of kids, and I said, "Where's your parents? Oh yeah, you're orphans." Gosh, that was one heck of a day!
One day, the milkman came to drop off milk.
The boy asked the milkman, "Do you know where my dad is?"
The milkman replies, "I am your dad," then runs off like Batman!
To anyone who wants to be my friend:
Hello.
Does anyone wanna be my friend? Please if ya' do reply to my: "Hello." In the chat. Tysm. Have a greaat day!
Alex <3
How was your day, Freshfry?