After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park. Lord: Has something happened while I was gone? Gardener: Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burrying your dog. Lord: My dog died?! Gardener: Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down. Lord: My mansion?! How?! Gardener: Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains. Lord: Why was she so distraught? Gardener: She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped. Lord: My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?! Gardener: Oh right! Your cancer test results!
A father of a young girl comes and meet the doctor. Father : Doctor...... How is my daughter's report ? Doctor : Congrats..... Your daughter is pregnant. Father : WTF ?????? Mt daughter is 10 years old and unmarried.
I was once caught doing it with a 16 year old in my bedroom. Boy was my wife mad. She yelled "HOW CAN YOU F... OUR DAUGHTER?!". Haha yeah she was mad. Anyways thats why your mother and I are getting a divorce Timmy.
Daughter: I know this is weird but I feel like that someone is watching me when I am sleeping.
Father: Sorry
My wife and I were at he park with our little princess today. We decided to go back home, then some jerk had the nerve to shout "Stop those two! They have my daughter!"
Sometimes, I think back on all the mistakes I've ever made.
Then I realize "My daughter isn't THAT bad..."
My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She's got my sister's eyes.
A Pedphile brings his Eight year old Daughter to the doctors office. The doctor asked her if she would like some Candy? Her father replies please no more candy for her i gave her enough today.
A cat gets its tail run over, and it’s mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”
The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”
Guess who dies next.
When you're fucking your boss's daughter, then you realize that you are self-employed.
How did the Hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her sons dick tasted funny.
A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to. He says to the first one "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny" He says to the second one "You are addicted to food, you named you daughter Candy" Then the third one whispers to her son "Come on Dick, lets go."
2 mums hook up! Their daughter comes in the room and says which ones the baby daddy? the "mum" points to the woman who was actually a man!
Me and my friend went to the park, after a while we grabbed our little princess and said "it's time to go sweetie" but before we could go someone said "stop them they have my daughter!"
Daughter: mommy what ever happened to Steven hawking? Mother: he died. Daughter: how did he die? Mother: he never got recharged.
My wife purely hates me for me having sex with our daughter.
It's not my fault I couldn't wait to get out of the abortion clinic!
What do Chinese parents hate the most?
A new born daughter...
My wife caught me fucking our daughter. I don't know what she found worse, the fact I was fucking out daughter, or that the clinic have me the fetus.
My son
My daughter said i could never make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!!!!
