Dark jokes
How many dead slaves does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently, more than 6, because my basement is still dark.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
You're more depressing than your own abortion video.
Roses are red.
My soul is black.
I am never getting my dad back.
What's the difference between humans and bullets?
Humans miss John Lennon.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
It’s the police, ma’am, your son got hit by a drunken driver. He’s dead.
Rules of dark humor.
1. Everything shall be touched.
2. If it offends someone, it shall not be touched.
Why do people hate Velma now?
Because she joined the Dark Side.
Mom: See that guy over there with no hands, tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly!
These jokes are darker than the list of victims dead from cops.
They told me I could never be an actor.
No one suspected me when they went missing the next day.
There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.
She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."
Son said, "But I can't see."
Mom said, "That's the point."
Steven Hawking had dark humor.
Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.
My jokes are so dark that I am surprised that the cops didn't shoot them yet.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just sit in the dark and bitch.
What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.
Why did the kid named Jeff become gay? Because he grew up without a father figure. Hahaha, I love dark humor!
How many emos does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, because they just cry in the darkness.
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.