Dark jokes
At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.”
Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.”
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.
How many orphans does it take to change a light bulb?
Obviously more than three because my basement is still dark.
Dark humor is like food:
Not everyone gets it.
Or a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
Kobe: Stop doing dark humor!
Me: Why? They don't land well together?
A kid goes to bed with his dad because he’s scared of the dark. Turns out he just wanted to have sex.
Why did people invent glow in the dark condoms?
So gay people can have lightsaber duels.
What’s the difference between a kid with cancer and a dark humor joke?
They never get old.
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
I looked so deep in the dark web, I started to see Tyrone.
How many Daveons does it take to change a lightbulb? None, he prefers to stay in the dark.
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
Dark humor is like having parents, not everybody gets them.
A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!
Dark humor is like water: some people get it, and some people don't.
If you think vanilla and chocolate ice cream is just light and dark mode.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they sit in the dark and cry xdddd.
Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street when all of a sudden, Paddy falls down a manhole. Murphy shouts down, "Paddy, is it dark down there?"
Paddy shouts up, "Dunno Murphy, I crnt see a fecking thing!"