Dark jokes

Pornstar

Here is a dark joke for you guys... "Why do pornstars scream, "DADDY!" in their videos? Because they were child molested by their father!"

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  • Light

    Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?

    Because you can't see in the dark.

    Kid

    What does a kid with cancer and dark humor have in common? They never get old.

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  • Memes

    Kid

    Dark humor jokes are like kids with cancer.

    They never get old.

    Story

    A Story:

    I lived in a small house. Behind my house was a big forest. If I went in the forest, then I heard scary sounds. That was very dreadful. I had a son. He was 9 years old. One day he went into the forest and did not come back. I called the police, but it couldn't help. I went looking. I really wanted my son Robby back. I missed him so! With a flashlight and compass, I went into the dark, eerie forest. Then the noises came again, but this time I also heard a scream. A scream from a nine year old child. It was Robby, certainly! I stopped in front of a tunnel.

    Sequel follows...

    Kid

    How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    None, they just sit in the dark and cry.

    Politician

    Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?

    His name is Vladimir Pootin.

    Parent

    What do parents and dark humor have in common? Some get it, and some don't.

    Forest

    A man and a boy were walking through a dark forest. The boy said, “I’m scared.” The man said, “Why are you scared? I’m the one who’s going to leave these woods alone.”

    Mission

    Why are we still fighting in darkness?

    "Mission failed, soldier, we will get 'em next time."

    Forest

    A man was taking a child into a dark forest.

    The child said, "I'm scared!"

    The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."

    Difference

    What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?

    Dark humor: 10 babies in one trash can.

    Morbid humor: 1 baby in 10 trash cans.

    Kid

    What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?

    Neither do ever grow old.

    Flashlight

    How do you find a black person in the dark without a flashlight?

    Tell them a joke to make them smile.

    Truth

    At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.”

    Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.”

    Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”

    Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”