Dark Humor
Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind?
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?
Alien vs Predator.
What's the definition of trust?
Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
A depresso espresso.
JK.
It's cyanide.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Why couldn't she get up?
She had no friends.
Knock Knock (Who's there?)
Not Sally...
Memes
People keep telling me that I should stop making sh jokes... bro it's not that deep.
How do you help a suicidal person cheer up?
You tell them it's a leap of faith.
You call it a tragedy. I call it a 25 killstreak.
What did the Hiroshima survivor say about the day Little Boy dropped? "It was a blast!"
My dad died in 9/11. He was a Muslim pilot.
How do emos propose?
"Would you like to join my family tree?"
In Syria, there are no Walmarts, only Targets.
What's worse than five dead babies in one garbage can?
- One dead baby in five garbage cans.
I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon."
I searched up self harm jokes, clean, but I couldn't find any :[
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
What is red and white and goes 200 mph?
A baby in a blender.
If someone calls you, reply with this: “Hi, this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?”
How many kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently not 27. Because my basement's still dark...
9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.