Dark Humor
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?
Alien vs Predator.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
A depresso espresso.
JK.
It's cyanide.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Why couldn't she get up?
She had no friends.
Knock Knock (Who's there?)
Not Sally...
What's the definition of trust?
Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.
How do you help a suicidal person cheer up?
You tell them it's a leap of faith.
Memes
You call it a tragedy. I call it a 25 killstreak.
What did the Hiroshima survivor say about the day Little Boy dropped? "It was a blast!"
My dad died in 9/11. He was a Muslim pilot.
How do emos propose?
"Would you like to join my family tree?"
What's worse than five dead babies in one garbage can?
- One dead baby in five garbage cans.
I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon."
If someone calls you, reply with this: “Hi, this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?”
I searched up self harm jokes, clean, but I couldn't find any :[
In Syria, there are no Walmarts, only Targets.
What is red and white and goes 200 mph?
A baby in a blender.
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.
What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.
There was a cannibal who had a wife and eight kids.
Q. What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. One has a functioning neck.