Dark Humor
What makes a joke a dad joke? When it leaves and doesn't come back.
What can't you say to an emo?
Hang in there, buddy!
My girlfriend left me for spending my own money. I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff, but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute, she leaves me.
What's George Floyd's newest song?
"I can't breathe."
Me: You have terrible jokes.
Mum: Shows me a mirror.
What's the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing, a rape joke fucks you until it's not funny anymore.
My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, "see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand." He said, "But Dad I'm blind." Exactly.
I was outside digging a six-foot hole when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole.
Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.
My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.
Where did Lucy go after the bombing?
Everywhere.
Why can't a homeless person be in "The Boys?"
Because he would have beef with Homelander.
What’s the difference between air and a six year old?
Air has resistance.
Wife: I’m pregnant.
Husband: Hi pregnant, I’m dad.
Wife: No, you’re not.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair going through a fire? Ghost Rider.
What's stiff and 6 inches long?
SIDS.
I throw a flashbang in a room full of epileptics...
They were shaking in excitement!
What's the quickest way to get to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
What do you do after raping a deaf person? Cut their fingers off so they don't tell anyone.
MORE JOKES COMING SOON LMAO ;]
I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.
Why does New York have the Jets as their football team if those are what took out the Twin Towers?