Dance jokes

Why do ballerinas wear tutus?

The one-ones are too small and the three-threes are too big.

What's worse than ants in your pants? Michael Jackson.

When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.

How do you start a rave?

Throw a flashbang into the epileptic ward of a hospital.

I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.

Why doesn't a skeleton dance? Because he had no body to dance with. Lol, Sans.

Why are cows such great dancers?

They have all the best moooves!

Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?

It's called "One More Thyme."

I can do a very good Michael Jackson impersonation. I just need a kid who can keep a secret.

You: “Knock knock.” Person: “Who’s there?” You: “Leaf.” Person: “Leaf who?” You: “Leaf this house!”

*Apple bottom jeans plays*

What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.

Q: I have a fish that can breakdance! A: Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

A fat girl was dancing on the table, and I said, "Nice legs." She says, "You really think so?" And I say, "Yes, definitely, most tables would have been broken by now."

What do a small pair of underpants and a small dance room have in common?

No ballroom.

I had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet... but only for, like, twenty seconds and only once.

Why was Michael Jackson kicked out of boy scouts? He was up to a pack a day!

What is harder than steel?

Michael Jackson on a playground.

Being raped is like a dance; sometimes it hurts, sometimes it hurts more.

There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father, "thank you for this moment, have a great night".

At the dance, the girl asks the boy, "can I have some food?" He gladly replies "yes" and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, "thank you so much, I really needed something to eat". Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, "thank you SOOOO much". Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, "what is it?" She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.

So yesterday, I was at an orphanage, harassing children by twerking at them.

They burst into tears.

I was worried that they would call their mom, well... um... I got away.