Damn, this computer stopped working. It's got autism.
Damn, you look out of this world because you got a big head like an alien.
Why is he sooo dam fineee?
Question: What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Answer: Dam.
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.
Any body have nothing to do? Well here is a prank that you'll never forget!
(Btw I never actually did this irl yet)
So tell your parents at night to come in in about 30 minutes cuz your legs hurt and you need them rubbed. So when they come in, pretend like your sleeping and right before they go out shout: NO! Then they will look at you but you'll be sleeping. (The idea is that you'll be sleep talking.) Then you start to cuss and say the most random things like: Hey you can't chew my cud it's mine, plus, you even went swimming today at that damm lake! Also say something like: YOU SON OF A BITCH! *swat in the air once* Then say: Why I made your f*ckin' bed today you stupid parents! *swat three times* And btw try and not smile as hard as it may be cuz they will be looking at you weird. And try to open your eyes just enough so you can see them. And depending on the tipe of parent you have they may wake you up by then or they will get interested and start laughing! Any way, then say: That mother f*cker that lives across the street just said I was ugly, you should do something about it(sibling name) ______. And also say: And if you happen to know where the nearest store is then that would be helpful. Then say: No Hulk! Leave me alone I love you! *swat twice*. Then say: Uncle Timmy Tom you are such a nude nick.(my dad made up the word nude nick, it just means crazy and annoying) Then settle down and lay on your stomach in your "sleep" and make it look like you putting the blanket on you more, but irl it would probably be to hide a smile! I think I will stop there cuz I don't think any one could hold in there laughter that long and if you feel like you can hold out longer then just make something up.
I hope you guys can do this and it goes well for you! Please comment! Byeee!
What did the fish say when he hit the wall?
Dam!
What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?
Dam fools.
My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.
Dam, my balls itch like hell.
I went to the dam to take the dam tour, but the dam tour guide told me there wasn't going to be a dam tour that day. So I was thirsty and I wanted some dam water, but the dam man wouldn't give me any dam water, so I told the dam man to keep his dam water.
This is so damn funny!
Dams are dam strange.
That dam looks damn cool!
Your name is so damn retarded you got sent to the animal farm.
So a cupcake walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says to himself, "Damn, this is some good shit."
You're so damn ugly that the robbers only go into your house to close the blinds.
An obese, depressed mother is trying to tie a noose, but can't reach it, so she calls her son for help.
*A few minutes later*
son: There.
mother: Where did you learn to tie such a good noose?
son: Dad showed me before he died.
mother: DAMN HIM TO HE- *slips and the noose chokes her to death*
What did the fish say when he got to the dam?
"Dam water."
"Dam!"
You're so damn fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.
