Flood jokes

What do you call a flooded hospital?

Vegetable soup.

What if the ocean just raided Titanic of its people? Like instead of it flooding, it was raiding it and threatened the passengers if they told, so they just said an iceberg flooded the ship.

The Flanders Song

God said to Noah, "There’s gonna be a floody-floody."

Rain came down, it started to get muddy-muddy.

Get these animals👏out of the arky-arky."

"Leave me alone!"

Do you need an ark?

Because I Noah guy!

Yo mama is so fat, they had to flood the Super Bowl to give her a bath.

We almost drowned when we went out boating, but I got a watermelon to keep me floating.

A black dude hits up a trap house for some crack and Hennessy, flashing his grill and boasting 'bout his gangsta life. The dealer snarls, "Pay up, fool. Or face the pipe!" He shrugs, "I'm broke, n***a." Suddenly, the dealer's ripped enforcer yanks him down, cuffs his hands with zip ties, shoves a vibrating dildo gag down his throat, slaps his ass red with a spiked paddle, then rams his throbbing monster cock into that tight hole, pounding savagely while choking him with a chain collar, flooding his guts with hot cum as he moans, "That's your high, bitch. Addicted yet?"

What do you call a hospital that's flooded with vegetable soup?

What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?

You would be dam unlucky.

Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.

The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"

Where did Noah keep his bees? -- In the ark hives.

Yo mama so fat...

...people in Florida start buying flood insurance when they see her waddling toward the ocean.

Fall

In India, whoever lives facing the roadside, this is for them.

Whenever it starts raining heavily, our homes turn into pool-facing homes because the roads disappear.

In 2013, it was reported that China has lost around 28,000 rivers; over half of what they thought existed. Some say climate change is the cause, others say it’s their harsh, economic expansion that’s unapologetic to the environment.

My theory is that those 28,000 rivers were sold to underground river-sex trafficking.