My dad coming back.
I wont ever Forget my dads last words: "OH GOD THE POLICE!!!"
What did my dad say before he went to go get milk? Theres money in my wallet for pizza I love you.
I was born on the moon. Yeah.. My mom was high and dad was down to earth.
(Just a joke) when Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said " It'll get better just walk it off."
Your dad must be a mailman
My disabled dad went to the grocery store
He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him
Finally he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle
I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
If you read this you fucked your dad and your 4 year old sister you sick fuck... Atleast wait till they are 15
What did the step dad say to the flower? YOU'RE GROUNDED!
Kid: hey dad Dad: your an hour late Kid: no it was 2 hours also I was working on math Dad: by yourself? Kid: no, Dad: a boy?, Kid: I was with the teacher
dad: My kid just said butch but since he is a kid he said a bad word on accident *the next day* uncle: F*CK
A sibling went up to there other sibling and said "dad said your adopted" and the other sibling said "you are too" then the other sibling goes "no I'm not." And the sibling says "we're twins" and the other kid goes "and your adopded... oh."
One night, a girl said to her family, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa." The next morning, her grandpa died. That night, she said, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodbye Grandma." The next morning, the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night, the girl said, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodbye Daddy." The next morning, the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine, but when he went into the kitchen, he saw his wife crying. When he asked her what's wrong, she said, "The mailman died."
Ur dad is mad
Guys, my sister's pregnant!
I'm finally a dad!
Son: mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me ?
Mom: no that's impossible
Son: but it is possible for your secret boyfriend right
Mom: no no please don't tell your dad i will make a strawberry cake for you
Son: daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake so because of that i felt jealous ^_^
👌😂😂😂
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me. She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand. Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys I asked and she said that’s my fam as well I noticed an Alabama drivers license I asked where which one was her dad she said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter I casually asked what he did for work self employed she said That’s the last time I use ancestry.com
One day there was a boy who needed the toilet. So he goes to his teacher and asks if he can go to the toilet. The teacher says "yes but before you go what is the first 3 letters in the alphabet?" The boy replies " I don't know miss.... The teacher says that he will have to wait. Later the boy goes home to his mom that is on the phone. What is the first letter in the alphabet? His mom says "Oh shut up! So the boy goes to his dad that is playing darts and says "what is the second letter in the alphabet? His dad says "180"! So the boy goes to his sister who is playing with her Barbies. The boy asks "what is the 3rd letter in the alphabet"? The sister says " I'm a Barbie girl in a barbie world"! The next day the boy goes to school and needs the toilet again so he goes to ask if he can go and the teacher says " yes but before you go what is the 3 letters in the alphabet"? They boy says " oh shut up"! The teacher is angry about that so she says "what is the second one"? "180"! Says the boy and the teacher asks him where he is from and the boy says " I'm a barbie girl in a barbie world!"
The end
I would tell a joke about my abusive dad but I can only think of the punchline.
