A white dad,a priest and a rhabi all run out a burning school and the dad says “what about the kids” and the rhabi reply’s to him saying “fuck the kids” and the priest says “think we got enough time”
Bob: Kanye West Dad: No but I can East
Dad: "I'm giving all your toys to the orphanage."
Kid: "Why are you doing that?"
Dad: "So you won't get bored there."
A child has diarrhea and asked his mom for a viagra. "Why in the world do you want that?" She asked him. He looks at her and says, "Well that's what you gift dad when his shit won't get hard."
a dad asked his son what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday and he replied... hows about a urinal cake?!!
when my dad once went to the virgin islands now its just called the islands
So you know The Lion King Do you remember Simba Well his dad is really strong and he walks really fast but Simba walks really slow So I told him to Mufasa
Kid: What is between mom's legs?
Dad: Paradise.
Kid: What's between your legs?
Dad: The key to paradise.
Kid: Well, you better change the lock, the neighbor has the key to.
MY DAD IS A PUSSY
Son: Hey dad, why is my name Canada? Dad: Because you were made there. Mum: We haven't been to Canada Dad: Hol' up a minute
daughter:where was i born Dad:Alabama daughter :that is nice mum:We have never been to Alabama Dad:RUN
Son: Hey Dad, can I play Fortnite? Dad: I don't know, do you want a girlfriend?
Son: Dad, why did name my sister Paris? Dad: Because she was made there. Son: Thanks, Dad. Dad: You're welcome, Backseat.
girl- mom, meet my boyfriend mom- meet my boyfriend girls boyfriend- dad is that you are you back from the supermarket with milk mom's boyfriend- uh gtg
You know what they say. Location Location Location. So my dad stuck a thermometer up his butt and now he has degrees.
What is black and white and sits in a tree? A fridge wearing a leather jacket XD
dad: hey son do you like Christmas? 12 year old me: yeah! dad: well how would you feel about two me: what?
lol I keep stealing my dad's medication money and the best part is he never remembers.
Son: Hey Dad, what's an alcoholic?
Dad: Well son, do you see those 4 cars? An alcoholic would see 8.
Son: Dad, there are only 2 cars.
Mom why was I adopted? Because people are terrible and that’s how the world works son! Ok dad the world is TERRIBLE
