A guy goes to Starbucks and asks”Hey, if I can make you laugh I don’t have to pay.”The girl in the window says,”ok.”The guys says,”A little boy named Timmy lost his arms.”The girl says,” oh no!”The guy says”and his dad left him when he was 4.”The girl says “uhh yeah.” The guy says”Ok,I guess I’ll be paying then” The girl asks”Ok,And what name will that be under?”The guy says”Timmy,I’m Timmy.”
Hi how are you busy busy today and tomorrow I have to go home from home and walk home walk and a bike walk walk and a bike to school tomorrow night I have to have lunch with my mom and dad and I have dinner with you tonight
Im jealous of cancer my dad beat me but never beat cancer.
What were the orphan's mom and dad's names? John & Jane Doe
U better get used to having dry ceral cuz ur dad aint never bringing the milk back.
No one has my back like my dad
Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you."
Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"
How can you tell when you’re sister is on her period?
Your dads knob tastes funny
Why did the orphan kill himself when he found out who his dad was,because he found out there dad was Donald Trump.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.
The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.
The son comes outside and steps on a crack.
The dad then dies in a car crash.
kid:dad what happen to the kid napper. dad:he had a nap Kid:where is he now dad:HELL
Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle? Son: Why? Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.
I cant sit down anymore .... my dad went 2 far this time
So my son came up to me and said ‘ hey dad I’m hungry ‘ so I replied “hi hungry I’m dad “
And then I feed him my dick
A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday, and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday, and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."
When you end up pregnant.......
Mom told me if a boy touched my breast I should say DON'T and if he touched me down there I should say STOP..but Dad, he touch me both places at once so I said DON'T STOP DON'T STOP 😂
my dads just like my eggs....runny🤣😭🥺
Why do orphans go to church : to call some one dad
Jerry:my dad got into a fight on a plane Jeremy:that's just *plane* crazy!
Mother: We need to talk about sex... Jason: oh, sex, tell me what do you wanna know.
Jason had a big whoopin' from his mother and big spankin' from his dad.
