Cry jokes
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"
Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.
LOL
What do you call an autistic person? Names.
I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.
Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.
Q: What's the difference between a fetus and an onion?
A: One makes you cry when you chop it into pieces.
Don’t cry when you attend my funeral, I was dead long ago so why cry now?
Q: How do you make a door cry?
A: Twist its knob.
A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.
He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.
The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.
On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution, but when I got there, they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told me that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you, Penaldo!
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.
I was crying at school and telling my friends that my grandpa died. Then I told them I still remember his last words. They wanted to hear them. They are: "you still holding the ladder?"
Why do I go around making orphan jokes? Because they can't go crying to their parents. 😅
An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.
How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice. Wipe your bloody cock off on her favourite teddy bear after you’ve finished raping her
My friend said onions only cry, so that's why I threw a coconut at him.
Man: *steals drink*
Boy: bro😭😭
Man: Why are u crying over a drink?
Boy: That had drugs.
Man: ....
I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
I was making love to this girl, and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”
– Rodney Dangerfield