Crime jokes
Yo mama so dumb, when a kid told her to “give her a fag,” she kidnapped Ricardo!
"Proud Boys? More like proud snitches!"
How do you know an abo robbed your house?
The bins (trash cans) are empty and the dog is pregnant.
Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?
A. The Purge.
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
Why is rape worse than death?
Because dead people get way more attention.
He is looking for children. If you don't know who EDP445 is, look him up.
Be careful around EDP445.
"White on white crime, well ham rights crime anyway in Eastern Europe right now!"
"Lock him up, you know, Trump!"
How do pedophiles get kids to suck their d**k?
They spray paint it like candy 🍬.
Hello, anybody, I've just shot somebody. I did it on purpose.
Q: What's worse than f**king a 2 year old?
A: Wiping the blood off of your clown suit afterwards.
The real dead hooker joke is on all of us from the Fraser Valley in BC. You know damn well each and everyone of us ate that Pickton hooker pork. Considering it stretching from the 80's-2000's, pretty sure he got 4 generations of Valley folk with that Pickton pork.
A dead Russian is Trump's accountant.
What's blue, red, and white and dead all over?
Trump's dead Russian mates.
What do you call a white kid looking at infants?
Pedophilia boy.
What do you call a triggered white kid?
A school shooter!
You're so poor, when a robber robs your house, they feel bad for you and just leave.
Now why an office supply keep rape videos, to make sure it was on tape?
So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?
I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"
Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?
But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!
Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.