Crime jokes
Why do orphans like pedos? Because they have someone to call "daddy."
Why aren't women taken seriously in the world? They are too busy whining about getting raped.
Why did the chiropractor go to jail? For not paying $75 in back taxes.
I'm a rapist.
Our soon to be ex-Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims.
He should fund proctologists too because he'll likely need both after prison.
Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!
What does a killer say in the shower in the morning?
- Splish splash, I'm gonna slash...
What did the woman say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
"Excuse me, sir, you're in my son."
What did Al-Shehhi say to Mohamed Atta?
"We are on time!"
What is Batman like?
He is an orphan.
How do you make Prince Andrew sad? You tell him you're over 16.
The best way to enjoy Port Arthur is to shoot through--a quote by comedian Isaac Butterfield.
The best way to enjoy Port Arthur is to shoot through--a quote by hilarious comedian Isaac Butterfield.
What's up guys! Quandale Dingle here (RUUEHEHEHEHEHEEHE). I have been arrested for multiple crimes (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH) including: Battery on a police officer (WHAT), Grand theft, Declaring war on Italy, and public indecency (RUHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE x2 speed).
I will be escaping prison on, MARCH 28TH! After that I will take over the worl[d].
A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw. The retarded kid yells, "Seesaw!" because he sees a saw.
True fact: School shooters aren’t dangerous to you if you're the school shooter.
There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!
How do paedophiles greet people?
"How are you, kid?"
What does 9 and 36 add up to?
A life in prison.
A teacher asked a class who killed Goliath. The first pupil said he wasn’t the one. The second said he doesn’t know. No one knew in the class.
The teacher got furious and dashed to the Head Master’s office to report. Immediately, the head master followed him back to the class with a cane. He growled- “If no one tells me who killed Goliath in this class, you will see fire!” Everyone in the class insisted on the fact that it wasn’t them.
Then the Head master looked at the teacher and said- “Mr. Dapo, are you sure that the person who killed Goliath is in this class?” The teacher fainted.