Crime jokes
All rape can be prevented. It's just a matter of semantics.
Why did the orphan get arrested for identity theft?
He dressed up as Batman for Halloween.
What’s the difference between a robber and an orphan?
One is wanted.
Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.
You call it a school shooting.
I call it an unfair shootout.
Everyone else seems to have met my dad. I only have the mugshots.
Q. Why did Josh Duggar cross the road?
A. There was a daycare on the other side.
I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.
What do the Nicaraguan Contras, Crips, and Crack have in common? The CIA.
I put a pipe bomb in an orphanage. 🤡🤡
Okay class, who can tell me who the fastest readers are?
The pilots of 9/11 went through the Twin Towers, 6 in 3 seconds.
A priest and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink.
Today my ex got hit by a bus.
I also lost my job as a bus driver.
Why did the hooker fall in love? Stockholm syndrome.
How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?
About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.
How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb?
Definitely not 13, because my basement is still dark.
First of all, if a woman sues Bill Cosby for drugging and rape 50 years ago, and she could still remember it, it couldn't have been all bad.
What's the difference between a Baptist and a rapist? The priests.