Crash jokes
doctor: you need to eat healthy.
me: no.
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.
me: oh my goodness.
doctor: in a plane crash.
me: that sounds unrelated.
doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!
Me and my brother were called the twin towers. My brother lived up to his title after the plane crash.
I tried to start a music career, but it crashed harder than Paul Walker.
I would tell jokes about Kobe, but they would just crash and burn.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.
The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.
The son comes outside and steps on a crack.
The dad then dies in a car crash.
Today was the worst day ever. My ex got hit by a truck... On the plus side, my truck doesn't even have a dent.
I saw an orphan on the street. I said, "Where are your parents?" He cried and said, "My mum and dad died in a car crash!" 😆😆😂😂🤣
Did you hear about Paul Walker's rap?
Wrapped around that tree.
The other day my computer crashed. Luckily, there were no injuries.
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
9/11 jokes aren’t funny. They always crash and burn.
Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same.
The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr. Independent and insists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!
"911, I just crashed my car. I think it's burning. I can't see. It hurts to breathe."
"You did great!"
"Come here and get your prize, a shiny quarter!"
"Nah, that's okay."
"Here's the quarterback."
"You don't want the quarter?"
"No! Quarterback!"
"Huh?"
(Crashes) (screams)
"Yo, sorry 'bout that."
"You think he's gonna be mad?"
"Who? Baldi?"
"Nah, he doesn't have a HAIR in the world!"
(Annoying Orange laughs) (Baldi groans)
What did the Twin Towers say when they saw the airplane?
Batter up!
The terrorists suck at [something]. They lost two times to the Twin Towers? Like, how do you land so far from it? One of them landed in a field.
Who did Stephen call when he crashed?... The geek squad.
Why did the terrorists crash?
They were doing the job they loved but not getting paid.
Lol.
What does Kobe and the Twin Towers have in common?
The pilots just couldn't stick the landing.
Wow, that was explosive!
Man, I'm on fire 🔥 today!
How did we know Princess Diana had dandruff?
'Cause the police found her Head and Shoulders on the dash.