Cow jokes
There are 30 cows in a field, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
A - 10
What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?
A milk dud!
What happens if you sit under a cow?
You get a pat on the head.
I say "cow poop," cows say "moonure."
What did the cow say to the other?
"Cheese!"
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
When do you take a cow to the movies?
On a mooo-vie!
Uranus is a cow, You may be wondering, how?
Uranus farts methane, And cows do the same.
Q. Why did the cow cross the road?
A. Because he/she wanted to watch the moooovie.
What do you get from pampered cows?
Spoiled milk.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
What does a hear-moo say? "Fat cow!"
Enyaw’s fanny smells of dirty, moist, fishy, rotten egg, dead Elizabeth, pig dick, cow cum filth.
Dirty bitch!
Why do dwarfs suck a cow's udder instead of being breastfed? Because they are too short.
Why was the pregnant cow mad all the time? It wasn’t in for the moo-d.
What did the cow tell an Indian?
Moo!
Why did the Indian man eat a cow? Because he wanted to be fat.
Have you ever met a kid who’s so fat that they can’t even be accepted to “My 600lb Life”? They need a higher-ranking one!
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef!
I'mma flip this coin, if it lands on heads, tuh, you gotta give me head, if it lands on tails then you gotta give me the booty, so lets give this a try *flips coin* OOP! Would ya look at that, it landed on both, ESSKETIT!
Am I the only one who's on here because it's not blocked on the school laptop and I can't use my phone in class?
Cows go moo.