Where do you get milk from? The Milky Way, of course!
What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?
A can o' bull.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?
A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
Why did the cow cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to go to a moooooooooooooooooooooooovie.
As a lifelong farmer, I was excited that Ligue 1 was moving up the UEFA ranking toward an Industrial Revolution and I can finally leave the farm. Alas, Pessi joined and we went down a rank because he is so finished. Shame on you Pessi, now I have to go back to shoveling cow shit.
Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?
She got tired of jumping over the moon.
A cow was walking down the road, and it saw a beautiful cloud in the sky, so it said, "That is an a-moo-zing cloud!"
What did the cow say to the cheese? I am your father.
What do you call a cow that's laying down? Ground Beef.
What did the Indian say to the cow?
I lowe you, moo than anything.
You're more likely to be killed by a cow than by a shark.
What happens when a cow masturbates?
Beef jerky.
Why does a cow love music?
Because it can play a moo-sical instrument.
What's a cow's favorite thing?
A mooooovie.
Whatās the difference between a cow and Hitler jokes?
You canāt milk the cow after 12 years.
What do cows like to watch? Moovies.
I am mis-steak.
A kindergarten teacher was telling a story...
A kindergarten teacher was telling a story about a farmer walking around the farm talking to the animals. She was trying to get the kids to interact, speak up, and to use their imaginations.
"Mister Farmer stopped at the cow, and the cow said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Susie, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Susie says "He said 'Good morning Mrs. Cow!'"
"Mister Farmer stopped at the pig next, and the pig said 'Good morning, Mister Farmer!'. Johnny, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Johnny says "He said 'Good morning Mr. Pig!'"
"Mister Farmer stopped at the chicken, and the Chicken said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Billy, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Billy says "The farmer said 'Holy shit, that chicken is fucking talking!'"
How does a cow do math?
With a cow-culator!
Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo - u
Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.
They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
