My fortune cookie said "Your existing plans will succeed." Not necessarily since I'm suicidal...
what is red, green, lies in a ditch and is covered in cookie crumbs?
...a girl scout that got hit by a car
Little Johnny walks in on his grandfather smoking a cigar. “May I smoke a cigar?” Asks Johnny.
The grandpa replies “Well, does your dick touch your asshole?”
Johnny replied “No.” and left the room.
The next day Johnny sees his Grandpa getting into a car.
“Can I drive the car?” Asks Johnny.
“Does your dick touch your asshole?”
“No.”
The day after that, Granpa sees Johnny about to eat a cookie.
“Johnny, may I have some of your cookie?” Asked the grandpa.
“Does your dick touch your asshole, grandpa?”
“Yep.”
“Then go fuck yourself, this is my cookie.”
How do you piss off a disabled person -you put the cookie on the other shoulder
what is a computers favorite snack? cookis!
When I dunk my cookies in milk, I think of you. I hold them down until the bubbles stop.
your forehead so big you got to take Tylenol pills big like chocolate chip cookies
What is a gorilla"s favorite cookie? It's chocolate chimp.
why do orphan dip there cookies in water cus there dad never came back with milk ohhhhhhh
Why did Hitler's cookies taste bad? He forgot to clean out the oven.
There was A disabled kid at my door he said I’m selling some cookies want to buy one I said well if you stand up sure
Ryan: Mother, if you had 10 cookies, and I took 4 away from you, how much do you have? Mother: I will still have ten cookies, because I will not give any to you. Ryan: What if I forcefully take 4 cookies away from you. Mother: I will have 10 cookies and a dead body.
Ryan and his mother had cookies than day. Ryan took all 10 cookies. He was never seen again. R.I.P Ryan
Yo mama so dumb when her computer was asking for cookies she grabbed a cookie, smashed it onto the screen and broke the computer.
Why was the cookie angry because someone ate the chips
orphans have tasted all cookies except for homemade ones
If your dad didn't bring the milk what are u dipping your cookies in?
I am like cookie monster on steroids when it comes to cookies.
Little Johnny walks out to the garage, and sees Dad smoking a cigarette... He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have a puff of that cigarette??" Dad asks, "Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment... He then replies, "Well, No Dad, my dick can't reach my ass"... His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house...
About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage, and sees his Dad drinking a beer... He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have some of that beer??" Dad asks, "Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment... He then replies, "Well, No Dad, my dick can't reach my ass"... His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house...
About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage with a BIG plate of Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookies, fresh from the oven... His Dad says, "WOW Johnny, those sure look like some good cookies... You think I can have some??" Little Johnny asks his Dad, "Well Dad, can your dick reach your ass??" His Dad scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment... He then replies, "Well, Yes Johnny, I do believe my dick can reach my ass"... Little Johnny says, "Well Dad, you can go FUKC yourself, cuz Mom made these cookies for me!!!"...
