Cookie jokes
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
🎉🎇🎊🎆🎈
I was trying to poison Santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤
What is red, green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?
...A girl scout that got hit by a car.
The FBI said, "Open up!" I shout to them.
A person said, "Cookie sale." I opened up. He fucked me.
My teacher asks all of us in class, "What is your favorite thing in the world?"
Josh: Cookies.
Jacob: My parents.
Erika: My Friends!
Brody: Lamborghinis.
Me: Pulling over in a car in the middle of nowhere at night with my girlfriend and getting in the back seat where the magic happens... ;-)
My Teacher: Ok, everyone that was all good...WAIT A DANG SECOND!
*Everyone Looks at Me With A Weird Face....
How do cookies 🍪 give three cheers?
Chip, chip, hooray!
What’s black and white and red all over?
A Milano’s cherry.
Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?
Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.
What did the cookie say when he jumped off the cliff? Crumbs, ha ha!
Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.
It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.
He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."
But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"
Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."
Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"
(Santa winks at you)
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well." My brother said, "You want a sugar cookie?"
If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?
Hello, I am back with more mind-blowing facts.
1. Why are cookies called cookies and bacon called bacon when you bake cookies and cook bacon?
2. If you tuck your shirt into your trousers and it is called tucking your shirt in, does that mean if your shirt is over your trousers, doesn't that mean it's called tucking your trousers into your shirt?
What's a homeless person's favorite cookie?
Pooreos.
Ryan: Mother, if you had 10 cookies, and I took 4 away from you, how much do you have?
Mother: I will still have ten cookies, because I will not give any to you.
Ryan: What if I forcefully take 4 cookies away from you?
Mother: I will have 10 cookies and a dead body.
Ryan and his mother had cookies that day. Ryan took all 10 cookies. He was never seen again. R.I.P Ryan.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy!
Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.
They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
What is the difference between a human and a tree? A human can walk and you can drive.
How to learn your Vitamins:
A = Art.
B = Bouncy Balls.
C = Cookies.
D = Da Sun.
You'll be smarter than a doctor next time you visit!