Conversation jokes

Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.

Orphan: My parents!

Me: You know that word?

When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.

Me: You know what's the favorite slogan that Hindus like the most?

My friend: What?

Me: “kati supari kata paan katiyo ko bhejo pakistan.”

A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.

Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"

Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"

Priest: "Fuck the children."

Rabbi: "Do we have time?"

Priest: "There's always time for something like that."

Why did the chicken cross the road to get away from this conversation?

Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?

Me: Oh, good, you?

Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.

My friend: What are you doing?

Me: I'm making holy water.

My friend: How?

Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.

A father is talking to his three kids.

Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?

Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.

Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?

Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.

Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!

Dad: Oh hey, Brick.

I was at a funeral and told a joke, and my sister said, "I'm dead." So I said, "That's what she said."

Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"

They replied, "I don’t know."

I said, "Fsh."

What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip?

"Want me to pack your shit?"

My friend said I was gay, but then I realised he was talking to the mirror.

Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?

Friend B: Yes, why?

Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!

My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.

He can tell the future.

South Tower: Man, that was da bomb.

North Tower: No, that was da plane.

SCP-1540 transforms in-front of a d-class:

D-class: Whoa dude, you’re a wolf!

SCP-1540: A am a were.

Me: What has two legs and bleeds?

Friend: Um, women? Obviously?

Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.

What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?

"Where are the kids?"

"It's Sunday evening!"

"No. It's Monday eve."

God, you’re having a good day?

Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.