Conversation jokes
Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?
Me: Oh, good, you?
Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.
I murdered my friend's brother because he kept saying "HEE HEE" like Michael Jackson when I was trying to have a serious conversation. I just found out he was disabled. That's a THRILLER.
Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.
Orphan: My parents!
Me: You know that word?
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.
Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"
Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"
Priest: "Fuck the children."
Rabbi: "Do we have time?"
Priest: "There's always time for something like that."
Son: Hi.
Dad: Yo.
When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.
My friend: What are you doing?
Me: I'm making holy water.
My friend: How?
Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.
I had a conversation with a Möbius strip.
It was one-sided.
A father is talking to his three kids.
Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.
Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?
Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!
Dad: Oh hey, Brick.
I was at a funeral and told a joke, and my sister said, "I'm dead." So I said, "That's what she said."
My friend said I was gay, but then I realised he was talking to the mirror.
What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip?
"Want me to pack your shit?"
Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"
They replied, "I don’t know."
I said, "Fsh."
Hey, talk to me here!
Two friends fighting.
Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"
Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."
Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.
Hi, how are you?
When you realize your friend standing next to you is adopted and narrates everything he does.
A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange."
So I replied, "No, it doesn't."
Me: Knock, knock.
Another person (OP): OP: Who's there? Me: Hatch. OP: Hatch who? Me: Bless you =) OP: But I didn't sneeze. Me: You just don't get a joke, do you?