Conversation jokes
Okay, I'm going to be sharing a story that I never shared before... Look in the chat to see the whole story.
Hi stone, I'm watching.
Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"
The terrorists both say, "A beer."
The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"
One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"
Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?
Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...
Son: Am I kidnapped?
Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.
Two guys watching a war movie at a bar are talking. One says to the other, "The Nazis starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war."
The other says, "My dad died in a camp as well... he broke his neck."
First guy says, "How did he break his neck?"
Second guy says, "He fell out of the guard tower."
A girl asked, "Can I have some nuts too?"
Boy: "Sure, what ones ;)"
A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses she missed very much.
She told her, "Hey, long time no see."
Me: John, what did he do earlier?
John: Hold on, I’m trying to think.
Me: I thought I smelled poop.
Me: U know the show called Imagine Dragons?
Friends: No, what is it?
Me: Imagine dragon this nuts across yo mouth.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A murderer.
A murderer who--
Is cut off by being murdered.
What did the man say to the woman? "Make me a sandwich."
So I was on a Discord call the other day, and one of my friends, an American buddy, joined, and we had a conversation.
Until they said: "When did pounds change to quid?"
And I said: "They're the exact same thing."
Then they said: "But when did it happen?"
So I said: "When did school change to shooting range?"
What did the cookie say to the milk?
What’s up duud?
You: Hey, Alexa, what is your gender?
Alexa: I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are...
Me: *hears it* And their pronouns are he/he.
This is the true worst joke ever:
What did the person say to the other guy when he met him?
Hi!
What did the woman say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
"Excuse me, sir, you're in my son."
Hey, can I tell you a pizza joke?
Nah, it's too cheesy.
Two people are sitting in a skyscraper.
P1: Hey, what wifi are you connected to? The company wifi is horrible.
P2: Airplane wifi.
What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?
You need more dressing.
Gf: Hi.
Bf: Hi.
Gf: Did you eat yet?
Bf: Did you eat yet?
Gf: Are you copying me?
Bf: Are you coping me??
Gf: I love you.
Bf: Yeah, I ate already.