Conversation jokes
What did one twin tower say to the other? "Be back, I gotta catch a plane."
Jack: Hey Josh!
Josh: What?
Jack: Sex!
Josh: Huh?
Jack: SEX!!
Josh: I don't get it.
Jack: Exactly ;)
Son: Dad, I had sex for the first time.
Dad: Would you like to talk about it?
Son: Sure.
Dad: Sit down and let's talk about it.
Son: I can't, my butt hurts.
What did one chair say to the other?
"I'm so bummed out!"
What did one ankle say to the other? Good morning, how are you today?
Wife: Stop telling rape jokes, it's not funny. Husband: Who raped you this morning?
😥This is offensive, sorry: What did the king say to his royal steed? "You gonna start the dishwasher or what?"
Everybody asks, "What's up?" but nobody asks, "What's down?"
My friend: You really need to stop the SH jokes.
Me: But they're not that long.
Can watersharky and Gwen comment on this? I need to talk to you guys.
What did the lady say to Michael Jackson on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my sun."
What did the traffic light say to the other?
🚦🚥🚦 Stop looking, I'm changing!
What did the green grape say to the purple one?
"Calm down and take a breath."
Boy: Crap, I hit a deer.
Girl: Awe... I guess it’s not so much of a dear.
Boy: ...
Boy: Get the hell out!
My impression of Michael Jackson's butler:
When answering the phone: "No, sorry, he's dead." *hangs up phone*
Why did the chicken cross the road to get away from this conversation?
#1: What are you doing?
#2: Watching a movie.
#1: Oh, I know why, because you move-ie.
The past, the present, and the future were having an argument. It was tense.
This morning, I was having a conversation with my ex-boyfriend about reincarnation. I said to him, "If you could come back in the next life as anything, what would you come back as?" He thought about it for a minute and says, "A tree. That way, everybody can look at me and admire me."
Then he says the same thing to me. I started thinking about it when these two sexy, half-naked studs walked by. One was a jock, the other on his bicycle. I know I said I want to come back as a jockstrap or a bicycle seat, but knowing my luck, I'll come back as a tampon.
Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad.
The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.
"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."
"I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."
The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.
"I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here."