Computer jokes
I made a website for orphans, but it did not have a home page.
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.
What is an orphan's favorite game? Sims, so they can make a family to have.
Yo mama's so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.
I made a website for orphans.
There’s no homepage.
Why did he die? He forgot to get a new GPU for his new PC.
How do you kidnap Stephen Hawking?
Shut off his computer.
Did you know that Stephen Hawking's death was an accident because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep mode?"
What was the favorite game in 2001? Flight simulator.
You can say he is not your type until you realize your type is not typing.
He installed a hacked client on his MC server called cancer.exe.
I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.
Windows could not connect to the Internet, would you like to search online for a solution to this problem?
Ctrl, Alt, Deletus, because of thine fetus.
I was on an orphan's website, but I pressed on his profile and realized he had no home page.
I donated a computer to the orphanage...
It didn’t have a motherboard.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
Why don't orphans have a site page?
Because there's no home page.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His PC overheated.
Why was Stephen Hawking always like this 🫠?
Because he didn’t have emojis on his computer.