A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.
A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to update to Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
What do you call a hot Mac Book Pro?
A Mac Daddy Pro.
How is Stephen Hawking dead?
His Windows shit down.
I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig.
A wife and husband were setting up their computer, and the husband made the password "my dick." But the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.
What's an alien's favorite computer key?
The space bar!
What does Stephen Hawking press after he's had a hard day?
F5
What is Bill Gates’ favorite equation?
1 + 1 =
Stephen Hawking's last words were, "Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down."
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.
Your mama is so fat that when she was playing online, she crashed the whole server.
A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open."
Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer."
Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now."
Where do you take Stephen Hawking when he dies?
The Apple repair store.
Stephen Hawking only died because he tried to install Windows 10 and his hard drive corrupted
The only reason Stephen Hawking died is because he forgot to update to the latest version of Microsoft.
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's grave?
"Rust in peace."
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Windows didn’t update in time.
What is the difference between a school bully and a feminist?
The school bully does not hide behind their computer screen.
So, the sea is on a computer but doesn't know how to search, so the computer said to the sea, "Search!"
Do you get it? SEArch.
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
