Compliment jokes
Bitch: Nice eyebrows.
Me: Yeah, where's yours, motherfucker?
Bitch: (Realizing she shaved them off cause she thought it would look cool)
Doc: Can I help you?
Girl: Doctor, I have pain in my heart.
Doc: When did it begin?
Girl: Right now (seeing him like a doll).
Doc: Hh...do you like me? I know I am handsome...
Girl: No, don’t get me wrong. You just look like someone I know.
Doc: Who is that? Is your boyfriend?
Girl: No, it’s my pet (rabbit), his name is Rokie.
What did the minute hand say to the hour hand?
Why are you so tall?
A: It’s very delicious! Great! Fantastic!
B: Thank you.
A: People don’t speak when they eat delicious foods!
If a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?
“You got nice buns!”
What did the 5 say to the S?
"Nice shape."
Are you a banana...
because I find you a-peeling!
The wife said, "Honey! Do you like my new teeth?"
The husband replied, "They remind me of stars, darling!"
"Yellow and far apart."
What do you say to your partner with diabetes?
Hey, sugar!
I complimented my neighbor's skeleton decoration for Halloween, but they just told me that it's their anorexic daughter.
I like your mama's big butt, and I cannot lie.
But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom jeans!
"Orla Doyle is fit."
You are quite [something].
At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become. On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again. “Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers, and the middle one is for you.
What did the fish say to the other fish? "You have a big butt!"
The other fish said, "We don't have butts......"
I think you're eggcellent!
What did the baseball player say to the bassist?
Nice baseline!