Compliment jokes

Me: I look up to you.

Friend: Wow, thanks!

Me: But in general cuz your so tall.

Three people having sex is a threesome; two people is a twosome. So next time someone calls you "handsome," don't take it as a compliment.

A wife asks her husband: Am I pretty or ugly?

The husband answers her: Pretty.

The wife responds: Thank yo-

The husband interrupts her: Pretty ugly!

"You're da bomb!" "No, you're da bomb!"

In America, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.

Your daddy must be a drug dealer, because you're dope.

Face-Timing My Girlfriend:

"Hey girl! Are you a veterinarian? Because these puppies are sick!" *shows muscle*

"You're the bomb"—a compliment in the USA.

An argument in the Middle East.

Wife: "How would you describe me?"

Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."

Wife: "What does that mean?"

Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."

Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"

Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

Are you a lightbulb, cuz you brighten up my day?

If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it's clear why everyone calls me handsome.

Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"

Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."