Compliment jokes
I like your mama's big butt, and I cannot lie.
"Orla Doyle is fit."
I think you're eggcellent!
My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?"
Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?
Me: I look up to you.
Friend: Wow, thanks!
Me: But in general cuz your so tall.
Three people having sex is a threesome; two people is a twosome. So next time someone calls you "handsome," don't take it as a compliment.
A wife asks her husband: Am I pretty or ugly?
The husband answers her: Pretty.
The wife responds: Thank yo-
The husband interrupts her: Pretty ugly!
"You're da bomb!" "No, you're da bomb!"
In America, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.
Your daddy must be a drug dealer, because you're dope.
Face-Timing My Girlfriend:
"Hey girl! Are you a veterinarian? Because these puppies are sick!" *shows muscle*
"You're the bomb"—a compliment in the USA.
An argument in the Middle East.
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
Are you a lightbulb, cuz you brighten up my day?
If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it's clear why everyone calls me handsome.
Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"
Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."