Common jokes
What do lizards and Queen Elizabeth have in common?
They both live long with dry skin.
What does a ripped jacket and a golfer have in common?
They both have a hole in one.
What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?
My dad went to get both and never came back.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common?
They both eat plastic. (I'm sorry to the lesbians out there; this is a joke, not real.)
What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both love naughty souls.
What do a brand new house, me, and new jewelry box have in common?
We're all empty on the inside.
What does an orphan not have in common with criminals?
Criminals are wanted.
What do a Family Dollar and an orphan have in common? They both have a "f" in "family."
What do Ligma and Bofa have in common?
They both ride on my dick.
What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!
What does an orphan and a dog have in common?
Both got taken from their parents.
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.
What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?
You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.
What do phones and orphans have in common?
They selfie! (It's because they don't have parents.)
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?
They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.
What do orphans and apples not have in common? Apples get picked.
What do cake and baseball have in common?
Both need batters.
What does a kite and a criminal have in common?
They both get high.