Common jokes
What do Ligma and Bofa have in common?
They both ride on my dick.
What does a kite and a criminal have in common?
They both get high.
What do cake and baseball have in common?
Both need batters.
What do Marie Antoinette and 2005-2012 Korn have in common?
They're both Headless.
What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?
Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”
What does a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?
Wet noses.
What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?
They both get really high.
What do a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
What does a pregnant slave and a "pay less" sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
What do Call of Duty and Al-Qaeda goals have in common?
You’ve got to get more than one down.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?
They both make terrible hunters.
What do orphans and sperm donor kids have in common? They don't have dads.
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?
They both come with a toy.
What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?
They both hang by something.
What do Helen Keller and orphans have in common?
Neither of them can see or hear their parents.
What do Ben 10 and a disabled kid have in common? They both slap their wrist.
What do iPhones and the Titanic have in common?
There's no Jack!
What does a sex offender that is a lesbian have in common with a sex offender that is a feminist?
They only performed cunnilingus on girls under 18 years old.