Common jokes
Q: What does a microwave and an M1 Garand have in common?
A: They both go “ping” when they’re done.
What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
By the time you're done with the breasts and the thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
What does food and dark humour have in common?
Not everybody gets it.
What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?
They have both had a few strokes.
What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.
What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.
What do apples and witches have in common? They both hang on trees.
What does a bar fly and a necrophiliac have in common?
They both enjoy a cold one once in a while.
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
What do shemales and barns have in common?
Cocks.
What does a duck and a tablespoon have in common?
Both are not a lamp.
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Princess Diana couldn't stop both of them.
What do 100,000 battered women have in common? The bitch was wrong!
What does a human and a cat have in common? Both take my bed.
What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?
There's brains all over the place.
What do women and airplanes have in common?
A cockpit.
What do Catholic priests and JCPenny's have in common?
Little boys' pants half off.
What do inner city schools and databases have in common?
Their problems are usually caused by a race condition.
What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?
They both make terrible hunters.
Q: What do American beer and canoes have in common?
A: Fu@king close to water!
What does a blowjob from an 80-year-old and bungee jumps have in common?
You feel the rush, but don't look down.