I like when people say they hate me because we have something in common. <3
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? They both like fairies sitting on them.
What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?
If you break a leg, you get cast.
What do windows have in common with my wife's legs? They're easy to open.
What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?
You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!
What's the difference between a bear with a gun and an American man with a gun?
The bear has common sense not to fire it.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
Kids end up playing with toys, but adults end up playing with boobs.
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?
They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
What does a blondie and a shotgun have in common?
Give them a cock and they're ready to blow.
What do Logan Paul, KSI, and the Japanese suicide victim have in common?
Tying.
What do Communism, Socialism, Feminism, and Fascism all have in common?
They are all disabilities.
Q: What does a microwave and an M1 Garand have in common?
A: They both go “ping” when they’re done.
What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
By the time you're done with the breasts and the thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
What does food and dark humour have in common?
Not everybody gets it.
What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?
They have both had a few strokes.
What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.
What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.
What do apples and witches have in common? They both hang on trees.
What does a bar fly and a necrophiliac have in common?
They both enjoy a cold one once in a while.
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
