What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common? You were bloody and battered but at least you're dad came.
What do a pedophile and a clock have in common? Neither of them go past 12.
That joke and paper have one thing in common they're both tearable
what does Stephen hawking have in common with a bull ? they both charge
What do women and peanut butter haven in common? They're both easy to spread
What do Asians and John Cena have in common? You can't see me! LMAO
Black holes and horny black women have 1 thing in common, they suck everything in sight
What’s the most common name for cancer patients
Luke (lukemia)
these are all of my terrible jokes
Two antennas met on a roof, they fell in love and got married. The ceremony was alright but the reception was amazing A jumper cable walks into a bar and the bartender said "I'll serve you but don't start anything A dyslexic man walks into a bra Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says "does this taste funny to you, I'm joking of course" Dejamoo: the feeling that you've heard this bull before A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident and said to the doctor "I can't feel my legs" the doctor said " I know, I AMPUTATED YOUR ARMS" I went to seafood disco last week, I pulled a muscle What do you call a fish with no eyes, a fsh Two fish swim into a concrete wall, one says "dam" A mystic dwarf escapes from a jail, the call went out of a "small medium at large" A man walks into a bar with solid tar under his arm, he says "a beer please,and one for the road" Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The p is silent YO MAMA SO FAT THAT she should be worried, diabetes is a serious problem What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, duh A priest a rabbi and a cleric walk into a bar, the cleric, due to his religious constructions, does not drink alcohol. The others do the same, they have a pleasant fun and nothing bad happens. What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint. I remember the last words my grandad said before he kicked the bucket, how far do you think I can kick this bucket A man walks into a bar, his alcohol independence is pulling this family apart I like my coffee like my women, on sometimes with a penis A man is working at a bar, a money comes in and orders a banana martini. The man wakes up and tells his story to his wife, he is ignored and he turns around sobbing. His marriage is falling apart Why didn't Jesus play hockey? Soccer and baseball are more popular in Mexico What's green and has wheels? Grass, the wheels WERE A LIE. What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have wheels except the duck Why couldn't the dinosaur break the wall, I don't know. I'm asking you Why did the old woman put rainbow roller skates on her walker, she has dementia There are an owl and a squirrel watching a farmer go by, they owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing. It's an owl it can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because the owl is a bird of prey
what do a bike and a rubber duck have in common, they both have a handlebar except for the duck.
Do you know how Diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.
What do a coin and an Irish man have in common? They're both fun to flip off.
what do ambulances and gay men have in common? they both take it in the back and go whoop whoop :D
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.
What does a shark and a computer have in common?
They both have megabites.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.
What do women, tornadoes and hurricanes have in common? - They all get the house.
