Comedy jokes

What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?

The trom-BONE!

P.S. This joke is very non-original and bad.

Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?

Neither has he. 😂😂

Stephen Hawking tried comedy.

His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."

Why did the teacher get the death penalty? Because she gave an orphan homework. That's on period. #darkhumor

I will stop making fun of orphans when their parents come back.

What did God say when he made Jake Paul?

"Oops, I made a mistake."

I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.

I was going to make a joke about a piece of paper.

It's just too tear-able.

While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.

Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!

Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.

You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.

Cesar: What was that good salad called?

Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.

Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?

Servant: Hail, Cesar.

Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!

Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.

Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!

What did the squirrel say to the dog?

"There are nuts in your poop. I found them!"

You got a black cat.

He was bad luck.

Everyone left you and you committed suicide.

What a CATastrophe!

What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.

Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “Dos, 1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 8.1, 10.”

Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.

What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?

A baked potato.

Joke: Genders are much like the twin towers. They used to be two, but now it's a sensitive subject.

Only a genius can say this.

I am stupid.

People might not laugh at my jokes, or have a reaction at all, but I'd explode with euphoria.

Periodically, people might laugh every now and then.