Comedy jokes

It’s like going to the orphan and telling your mama jokes.

What did God say when he made Jake Paul?

"Oops, I made a mistake."

Stephen Hawking tried comedy.

His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."

I will stop making fun of orphans when their parents come back.

Why did the teacher get the death penalty? Because she gave an orphan homework. That's on period. #darkhumor

I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.

Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?

Neither has he. 😂😂

What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?

The trom-BONE!

P.S. This joke is very non-original and bad.

I was going to make a joke about a piece of paper.

It's just too tear-able.

Cesar: What was that good salad called?

Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.

Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?

Servant: Hail, Cesar.

Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!

Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.

Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!

What did the squirrel say to the dog?

"There are nuts in your poop. I found them!"

You got a black cat.

He was bad luck.

Everyone left you and you committed suicide.

What a CATastrophe!

When you steal the weird pet rock, so he pulls out his pet Glock.

Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “Dos, 1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 8.1, 10.”

What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.

Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.

What do classical musicians do when they die?

They decompose.

Only a genius can say this.

I am stupid.

What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?

A baked potato.