Comeback jokes
There is a young man smoking and a woman in a wheelchair. The woman says, "Why is a young man like you smoking?" The man turns around and says, "Why the fuck are you wearing trainers?"
Why doesn't Jesus participate in Battle Raps?
All his comebacks take three days.
Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!
Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
I forgot what a boomerang was. Oh well, it’ll come back to me.
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.
A random guy yelled at me, "Hey, slut!"
I walked towards him.
"I prefer slit," I said.
"Why?" He asked.
"You see these wrists?" I spat at him.
Who is Joe?
You reply back: Who is Candice?
They reply back: Who is Candice?
You say: "Candice nuts fit into Joe Mama's mouth."
My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.
Person: You suck!
Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common?
Once they're gone, they never come back.
What's the difference between your dad and grocery shopping?
He didn't come back with the milk.
If someone calls you fat, just ignore them. You are bigger than that!
If someone says nobody asked, you could say, "Well, nobody asked for you to talk!"
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
Because they come back, unlike their dad.
Guy: Fight me on Xbox. Guy: Oh right, you don't have one *laughs*
Me: Fight me in real life. Me: Oh right, you don't have a real life. *INSERTS APPLE BOTTOM JEANS*
2021-2022
Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.
Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?
Took my receipt to the sperm bank so I can get this comeback.
D.K. is back, baby!
No, you!