Comeback jokes
What do you say to a bully?
I might not be perfect, but at least I'm not you!
One day I got home and told my girlfriend, "I cheated on you." She replied with, "F**k you!" I then said, "But you won't, that's why I cheated on you."
Well, if someone ever calls you gay 🌈🏳️🌈, just say, "Well, at least I'm straighter than the pole your mommy dances on." 🤣🖕
Teacher: This assignment is big.
Student (male): I have something that's big.
Teacher: Yeah, your forehead.
Orphan: I fucked your mom.
Kid: At least mine survived from it.
Son: Mom, can I tell you something?
Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?
Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!
Mom: Well, I made you.
Your classmate: You're so ugly.
Me: That's what your mom said when she had you and called you a mistake.
When someone says "Did I ask?" say "Then why did you respond?"
Me: Your ugly...
Person: I'm not your mirror...
Me: I never told you to be my mirror :p
My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.
When someone says you're an orphan, say, "At least I was wanted, unlike you!"
Bully: Agh, you're ugly!
Me: Said your mom when you were born.
I was thinking of a good accident joke, and I asked my sister. She said, "you."
If someone called you ugly, say before you call me ugly, look in a mirror.
Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.
Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!
Bully: "You are so stupid!"
Classmate: does nothing.
Bully: "Oi, I'm talking to you!"
Classmate: "Oh, you're talking to me? I thought you were talking to yourself."
Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you."
Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"
Woman: What’s a good comeback for my sexist husband when he tells me to go make him a sandwich?
Husband: I know! How about you COMEBACK with a goddamn sandwich?
Bully: "Nobody loves you."
Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."
One day I was walking around, then saw this mom mad at her kid and screamed, "You're adopted!" He said, "Yeah, I know. My REAL mommy is still at home with daddy."