Comeback jokes
Bully: Hey virgin!
Victim: I'm not a virgin, just ask your sister.
Bully: I don't have a sister, dumbass.
Victim: Just wait nine months.
Bully: Your mom hates you.
Orphan: I don't have parents ;)
Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”
Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.
Me: I have no bullet holes.
Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.
Me: Ayo what the fuc*.
My teacher asked the class to stand up if you're dumb. No one did, so she said, "Come on, someone must be dumb," and pointed over to the left side of the classroom. Lil Jonny stands up. "Do you think you're dumb, Lil Jonny?" asked the teacher. "No, I just feel bad for you. You're the only one who stood up," replied Lil Jonny!
Sister: You're adopted.
Me: At least they wanted me, they must feel terribly bad cuz they had to keep you :(
My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.
When the bully says, "You're adopted," so you hit him with, "At least someone wanted me!"
I forgot what a boomerang was. Oh well, it’ll come back to me.
The bully: You're gay.
The nerd: I am.
The bully: Yeah.
The nerd: Then what are you?
Your so fat, my sister said. I said, "So at least I ain't fatter than your momma."
BULLY vs. QUIET KID
Bully: I bet your dick is as small as a Tic Tac.
Quiet Kid: That's why your mom's breath smells so good.
QUIET KID WINS
Friend, you're bold and fat.
Me: Bro, go to the bathroom and look at the mirror. You will probably break it.
If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"
Bully: How’s your girlfriend?
Kid: I don’t have one. How are your parents?
Bully: *cries*
Kid: *Walks out of the orphanage*
My boyfriend dumped me. Guess who came back crawling for his zimmer frame?
A teacher in Scunthorpe asks a class what their favorite football team is, saying, "Raise your hand if it is Scunthorpe." Every student but one raised their hand. The teacher asks, "Why don't you support Scunthorpe?" The child answers, "My parents support Grimsby, and so do I." The teacher comes back with, "Why are you copying your parents? What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad a druggie?" The child answers, "Then I'd support Scunthorpe like you dirty bastards!"
Why are orphans not boomerangs? Because they never come back.
Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down you can't see it.
Guy: I don't, I see your mom.
Kid: "Hey, are you an orphan?"
Friend: "Yeah, but you are too."
Kid: "At least my parents wanted me."
So I had a friend who was an orphan, and he said, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, just reminding you." I then said, "Hey, how's your parents?" I never saw him after that.