Clothing jokes
My jacket tore a little bit. It's a ripper.
This Fairy Tail shirt is only $9.99! Guess you can say that's a fair retail.
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest!
What's the worst part about getting old?
Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
Because they'll get a hole in one!
What do bananas wear into battle?
Banana-rama!
A girl asks her Asian boyfriend if he wants to eat her pussy. He asks her why she is taking off her clothes, instead of cooking her cat.
The DNA told the tailor he couldn't find his genes.
The DNA told the tailor that he couldn't find his genes.
I ran out of bras, so I wore...
My grandma's underpants!
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest.
I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.
What did Michael Jackson find on his bed?
Billie's Jeans.
What do cheetahs wear to work?
They can't change because cheetahs can't change their spots!
What do you call a chair with a hat?
I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?
What kind of shoes does a ninja wear? Sneakers.
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
What did the house wear to the party? A dress.
I was staying over at my friend's; for the purpose of the joke, he shall be called Kian. It was 03:00 am and everyone else was asleep when I heard a soft banging on the wall. I left the room to inspect it. Kian lived with his grandad John Hauge; it was thought he had a huge slong.
The banging was getting louder, and so too was my heartbeat. I opened John's door and ventured into the room. John was fully naked. There was a glory hole through the wall where I could make it Kian's ass. This is what I have been waiting for. I rip off my shorts, which Ali G bought for me, and silently moved towards John. I shoved [my] 1-inch wonder in his ear. John furiously turned around and slapped me with his cock, "You little gimp, get on the bed."
Kian came in the room with a 2-litre bottle of Irn Bru. He demanded, "What the fudge are you doing?"
I replied smoothly, "Kian, you tracksuit warrior, you have a camel toe!"
Kian fires back, "Shut it, Paul, you have genital warts!"
John screams, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
He then gives us it so rough I can't walk the next day, but [I] feel pleasured for eternity.
By Lewis
What does a South African Batman wear? A cape.