Christmas jokes
I hope all of you had a great merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, a good whatever you celebrate! I got so much this year, over $300 of fishing gear, a small 2011 coin mint collection, some coins from the Nazi party, a remote control car, 100 dollars, and more. Say what you guys got in the comments.
What do you call an elf that sings? A Wrapper.
You know the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"? Apparently, Santa's the mailman.
What does the blind, deaf child get for Christmas?
Cancer.
During the holidays in the fruit bowl, the orange walked up to the banana and said, "Berry Christmas!"
My first christmas picture second one ima draw tommorw at school or tonight depends
Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!
Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
What would an orphan ask for Christmas?
"A someone."
To start, I'm a big fella in size.
I saw a skinny guy act like Santa, so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off," I said. He said, "Then you try it." He gave me the Santa suit, and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.
What do people get for Christmas when they behave badly? They get coal. Why coal, you're probably saying, because the true meaning is cucks of all kinds.
What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?
We dunno, she ain't opened it yet.
Santa Claus walks up to three little girls and says, "Ho, ho, ho!"
Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?
Orphan: I don't know what you mean.
Me: There is no one to give a present.
What's Michael Jackson got in common with Santa?
They both empty their sacks around children.
Santa said my mom was good... But she is on the naughty list.
What did the girl get for Christmas?
Cancer.
Kid starts short-coming people in school. Teacher asks, "Why are you doing that?"
He responds, "I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas!"
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
On Christmas, Mexicans wake up in the morning, then take a nap.
Joking, I know they work hard. They run all the way to the border to decorate the barbed wire.
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, she's still trying to open it...