Christmas jokes
Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here." His mom comes rushing in and says, "Little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!"
After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Okay, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in the kitchen."
Why don't Chinese kids celebrate Christmas?
Because they make the toys.
What did Santa Claus get Paris Hilton for Christmas?
He raped her.
Why do orphans love Christmas?
Because they build a home.
What movie does an orphan want for Christmas? "Spiderman: Homecoming";)
No one:
Taeil: "Happy Christmas~"
Haechan: "It's Merry Christmas."
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
They both leave the little kids' room with empty sacks.
Why is Santa's sack so big? Because he only comes once a year.
What did the kid who has no arms get for Christmas?
He couldn't even open it.
Ever wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?
They made the toys.
And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.
I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can Hoe Hoe Hoe!
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”
What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?
He said he was awfully touched!
Santa Claus gave a child a bike and a football. The child wasn’t happy. Why?
He had no legs.
Who gave Jesus his birthday presents every year?
Santa Claus!
Why did Helen Keller have no ornaments on her Christmas tree?
'Cause she always dropped them.