Children jokes
Me: Hey, I’m your mom.
Orphan: Yay, you came back!
Me: Sike!
One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
What does a man with 20 children do now?
Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.
I'm making a website for orphans. [I] won't add the home page.
What film do orphans hate?
"Instant Family."
I’m about to go to the orphanage to say yo mama jokes.
Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.
What do you call gay parents?
Poly.
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.
Why are orphans unable to work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it’s a family business.
What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.
Planes shouldn't have free Wi-Fi. Why? Because the last time they had free Wi-Fi, well here's what happened...
On September eleventh 2001, (children scream).
Me: "Cya"
Mom: "Where ya going?"
Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."
Mum: ...
What movie do orphans relate to the most?
- Home Alone
Why do orphans have no sense of humor?
I guess they've never heard a dad joke.
Your children grew up faster than it took you to leave for the milk.
I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.