Children jokes

One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"

What do orphans' parents have in common with Nemo?

They both can’t be found.

What do you call a priest meeting his illegal children?

A holy CUMmunion.

Orphans can be a robber if they want because their parents won't be disappointed.

One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.

To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.

What company do orphans hate the most?

S. C. Johnson, a family company.

What is the same with emos and orphans? They both are unwanted.

Me: Hey, are your parents here?

Orphan: (crying) STOP CALLING HERE!

What's the food orphans can't eat?

Family-sized ice cream.

Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?

Because his mom and dad are in every episode!

What does an orphan and a dog have in common?

Both got taken from their parents.

Why doesn't the orphan's phone have a homepage, being it doesn't have a home?

Children and your meat are actually quite similar.

At first you seem weirded out by spanking it, but later on you start to enjoy it.

I'm not a robot, but orphans are.

What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?

Play pretend dog in the bed.

Planes shouldn't have free Wi-Fi. Why? Because the last time they had free Wi-Fi, well here's what happened...

On September eleventh 2001, (children scream).

I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.

Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.

Why are orphans unable to work at S.C. Johnson?

Because it’s a family business.

I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.