Children jokes
Never buy an epileptic kid light-up Sketchers.
Q. What type of flour do orphans get?
A. Self-raising flour.
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
Your children grew up faster than it took you to leave for the milk.
I love you, Explain Bear. Please bear my children.
How are orphans like broken pencils?
Neither of them have points.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Why did the pirate kids ride the short bus to school?
Because they were retarrrrrrrrrded.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
A: Free delivery.
How many orphans does it take to screw a light bulb in there house?
None because they don't have a home.
What Kind of Hardware store can't orphans go into?
Home Depot.
What is a geographical discovery? Little Johnny found his geography homework undone.
One day, little Billy came in, pulling up his pants. The teacher asks, "Where have you been, Billy?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." A few minutes later, little Willy came in. The teacher asked, "Where have you been?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." Ten minutes later, little Johnny came in. The teacher says again, "Where have you been?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." A few minutes later, a girl came in. The teacher says, "Who are you?" She says, "I'm Beverly Hill."
Punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Why do orphans not like 1st-5th grade teachers?
Because they have a home room.
I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.
Now I can’t get it to shut up.
Q: How many children does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thinly you slice them.
Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?
There, there, over there, and over here too.
Son: Dad, why did you name my sister Paris?
Dad: Because she was made there.
Son: Thanks, Dad.
Dad: You're welcome, Backseat.
There’s going to be a wild party at the orphanage tonight...
The parents aren’t home.