Children jokes
My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.
So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry?
My donation to the orphanage :)
Q: Why can't orphans ever win at Yahtzee?
A: Because they can never seem to get a full house.
How are Fortnite cards and orphans similar? They're given away.
Memes
So sick of the ads for rupaul.
A game that all orphans hate,
"Who's your Daddy?"
The second worst thing to happen to these orphans!
What’s a pedophile’s favorite band? Kids Bop.
What couldn’t the boy in the wheelchair do when he saw a bully? He couldn’t stand up for himself.
Why are orphans bad at hide and seek?
Because they can’t find their parents.
Sally's mother had four children. The fourth April, the second May, the third June. Who was the first child?
Sally.
What did the kids say hi to? A slide.
They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.
I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.
The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.
Why can't orphans walk through doors?
Because they don't have a house to walk into.
What does gum in my d*ck have in common?
Both get chewed on by little kids.
How do terrorists feed their children?
Here comes the airplane.
This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad influence on children?
Because he only looks one way when crossing the road.
Can't wait for the orphans to have their family reunion! Wait...