Children Jokes

They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.

Why can't orphans walk through doors?

Because they don't have a house to walk into.

What is an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy.

Why are orphans so good at tennis?

They never get love.

What does gum in my d*ck have in common?

Both get chewed on by little kids.

The image shows a Facebook post with comments about a tragic shooting, followed by a picture of a troll-face character smirking next to a computer that is on fire. The Facebook post has various comments with Todd responding to the initial tragedy with "Probably coffin brochures" and "Bullets?".

What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?

They both say "Hello children!"

This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"

Why is Stephen Hawking a bad influence on children?

Because he only looks one way when crossing the road.

Can't wait for the orphans to have their family reunion! Wait...

I have big balls, said the kid holding two soccer balls.

Man: Hey kids, who wants milk?

Kids: Me!

Man: *unzips fly*

I just killed a family of five.

Now I’m an orphan.

The teacher asks, "Who is a Trump fan?" Everyone in the class, wanting to be liked by their teacher, all put their hands up, except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, why are you being different again?" Little Johnny says, "Because I'm not a Trump fan." The teacher asks, "Why are you not a Trump fan?" and Little Johnny says, "Because my dad's a democrat and my mum's a democrat so I'm a democrat." And then his teacher says, "So if your dad was an idiot and your mum was a moron, what would that make you?" And Little Johnny replies, "A Trump fan."