Children jokes
I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.
The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.
What is illegal in Africa? Water guns.
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
What did the kids say hi to? A slide.
They say Iām sliced like the apples in a kids meal.
Memes
Why can't orphans walk through doors?
Because they don't have a house to walk into.
What is an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy.
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
They never get love.
What does gum in my d*ck have in common?
Both get chewed on by little kids.
I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday, but, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.
An orphanage is like a horse rescue. You rescue them, rehabilitate them, then sell them for as much as possible.
Why did KFC take orphan?
Because kids fattening center.
This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad influence on children?
Because he only looks one way when crossing the road.
Can't wait for the orphans to have their family reunion! Wait...
I have big balls, said the kid holding two soccer balls.
Man: Hey kids, who wants milk?
Kids: Me!
Man: *unzips fly*
I just killed a family of five.
Now Iām an orphan.
The teacher asks, "Who is a Trump fan?" Everyone in the class, wanting to be liked by their teacher, all put their hands up, except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, why are you being different again?" Little Johnny says, "Because I'm not a Trump fan." The teacher asks, "Why are you not a Trump fan?" and Little Johnny says, "Because my dad's a democrat and my mum's a democrat so I'm a democrat." And then his teacher says, "So if your dad was an idiot and your mum was a moron, what would that make you?" And Little Johnny replies, "A Trump fan."
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.