Children jokes

I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps, and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire, and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried, but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.

What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?

Sexy kids.

So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.

So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.

I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.

Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.

What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.

What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.

Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.

Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

Dark humor never gets old, just like children with cancer.

What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?

They're both dangerous to children.

Why did the orphans miss most of the basketball games?

They missed the homecoming games.

9 year olds can consent. That’s like 18 divided by 2.

Why are orphans always famous?

Because they say, "Go big or go home," and orphans only have one option.

A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"

What foods are orphans allergic to? Homemade food.

Why did KFC take orphan?

Because kids fattening center.

What is illegal in Africa? Water guns.

What is an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy.

Why are orphans so good at tennis?

They never get love.

Why does an orphan hate the ending of Finding Nemo?

Nemo goes back to his father.

I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.

The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.

Why can't orphans walk through doors?

Because they don't have a house to walk into.

They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.

What does gum in my d*ck have in common?

Both get chewed on by little kids.